Have you ever had to write a difficult email and you just couldn’t find the right words with which to begin? You simply needed the first few to pop into your head and the rest would follow, right? Well, the same type of hesitancy may strike when you’re trying to approach a girl you like. Here are some suggestions to get you through that initial wall of awkwardness before it turns into complete confidence paralysis. Besides, the suggestions may also get her to like you back.
Just Be Yourself
Okay—you must have heard this one a thousand times. You’re talking with your friends about how to get a girlfriend, and all they can offer you in terms of advice are these three pesky words: just be yourself. What exactly does it mean to just be yourself? Hello—aren’t you yourself already? Sure, but in the presence of that one truly special girl, you might lose yourself or collapse into emotional bits and pieces. Even worse: you might start thinking it’s a good idea to lie in an attempt to impress her.
It’s not, so don’t.
Instead, be you. Act the way the real you would. After all, you want her to start liking you, not some fabrication that can be exhausting to maintain. Eventually, the mask will slip, and you’ll ruin everything anyway. That said, do your best not to be inanely self-conscious when you talk to her. Oh—and do bear in mind the very last thing you should try is to impress her with some godawful pick-up line.
Listen to Her
Yes, do—and be genuinely interested in what she has to say. There’s no bigger turnoff for a girl than a self-absorbed knucklehead who only pretends to listen when he gives her the rare opportunity to say something. Being a good listener is not only a genuine sign of maturity; it also serves as proof that you see her as more than mere eye-candy.
Listening—and absorbing what she’s saying—will also allow you to surprise her rather pleasantly later. For instance: the more you learn about her interests, hobbies, priorities, likes, and dislikes, the better you’ll be able to communicate with her. In time you can offer thoughtful gifts, and even sound advice if she asks for it.
How to Get a Girl to Like You
Have Interesting Hobbies
Perhaps you’re into woodworking, or you speak three languages, or you play an instrument really well. Maybe you like to cook, and your tried-and-tested recipes produce tongue-smackingly tasty dinners. What girl wouldn’t enjoy a home-cooked meal prepared by her boyfriend? Or listening to your lazy guitar-strumming while she’s lounging nearby?
But being interesting is not enough. You have to subtly imply it. Wait for the right moment during conversation (you’ve been listening carefully, haven’t you?) and slip in a mention of this or that. Don’t sound like a braggart while doing so, though. Having your own interests will pique her curiosity and motivate her to dig down deeper in an effort to get to know you better.
Don’t Forget to Flirt
Meeting and talking is all well and good, but friends do that all the time. You don’t want to get irretrievably stuck in the Friendship Zone, do you? You want things to get ahead, to move along swimmingly—and you’d like to bring kissing into the equation. So how d’you get a girl to kiss you? By being flirty. Doing so will send all the right signals: you’ve become really interested in her, and you’d like to go level-up with the relationship.
Keep it simple. Not too simple, but still uncomplicated. You want to be relaxed but also witty. Try innuendos, but don’t be pushy, or over-the-top daring. You don’t want to give the impression of rudeness or vulgarity. Observe her reactions carefully, see what works, and find your way respectfully.
More often than not, humor is the way to go. Girls like guys who can make them laugh—and that’s been proved. There’s lots of empirical evidence in this regard. So you don’t have American Idol looks. Perhaps you haven’t gone to the gym in months. Maybe you’re short, balding, and you have a moth living in your wallet. Yeah? Well, if you can make her laugh heartily and happily, you may just be astonished what you can achieve. If you don’t have a sense of humor, cultivate one. Quickly.
It’s also worth remembering that poking fun at yourself, or making jokes at your own expense, will show her you’re pretty comfortable in your own skin; you’re well on the way to beating your insecurities, and you don’t take yourself too seriously. Knowing when to joke around can make her forget her problems for a while. In fact, a good laugh can turn a bad day into a good one.
Take Good Care of Yourself
Last, but hardly least: hygiene is important. It’s often underrated, and undeservedly so. Being well-groomed conveys confidence, quite apart from providing you with a healthy appearance. It also makes you look considerably more attractive. Make sure you shower regularly, brush your teeth, floss, shave. If you’re into facial hair, keep it clean and neat. Neatness shows you’re no slouch, that you care about how people perceive you, and it points toward your having things at least fairly figured out. While style is subjective, cleanliness and clean clothes never go out of fashion.
Now: go get that girl!