All of us have had our fair share of experience in relationships. We are all too familiar with the quickening heartbeat, the butterflies in the stomach and the blushing faces at the sight or mention of that special someone. But are we all able to make it last? For most of us the initial rosy period is short-lived. For each one of us who has grown old in a loving relationship with a childhood sweetheart, there is one who just doesn’t seem to get it right. What makes the difference? Let’s try and find the reasons that make the difference between a loving and fulfilling relationship and the one that fails.
Here we try to list out a few mistakes for you to avoid, for being in a happy relationship:
1.Missing out on Appreciating your loved one
The best part about being in a brand new relationship is that you can’t find anything that you don’t like about our partner and vice- versa. You ensure that you make your admiration for them very obvious and compliment them as much as possible. You are also at your best behavior. As the days and years pass by, complacency creeps in and kills the magic. The ones who manage to keep the spark alive in their relationships, just don’t stop appreciating how wonderful their partners are.
2.Controlling your partner
We all like to be in control of our lives, but the catch lies in realizing that our partner is not one of the parameters to be controlled. A relationship involves two dynamic individuals with a mind of their own. The key to a successful and happy relationship lies in respecting and acknowledging them as their own person. The moment you start getting overbearing and exerting control, you can kiss your happiness goodbye.
3.Trying to change the person that they are
Once the novelty of a new relationship wears out and familiarity sets in, the differences that first seemed so attractive start nagging you. Consciously or sub consciously you try to change the qualities that bother you -be it in the form of gentle prodding or full-fledged nagging and accusations. This is where the downfall of a relationship starts. The way to overcome this is to force yourself to focus on the positives. It would help to remember that some of your qualities and habits can be as annoying to your partner.
4.Not giving enough space to each other
Though relationships are all about companionship and togetherness, it is essential to have enough breathing space for both individuals. There is no doubt that your relationship and you partner are the most important part of your life, but that doesn’t make them your whole and sole life. It is refreshing for the individuals to have different friends, spend time on their own hobbies and spending some time apart from each other.
5.Communication breakdown
Complacency, familiarity and busy daily routines lead to major communication breakdown over a period of time. One has to make a conscious effort to be in touch and communicate. Lack of communication, sows the seed for misunderstandings and arguments which further deteriorate the communication leading to a downward spiral. Being transparent with your partner and avoiding secrets is another vital aspect in laying a trustworthy foundation for a long-lasting and happy relationship.
6.Not agreeing to disagree.
Disagreements are natural and unavoidable in any relationship involving two individuals with different thought process. Sooner or later they would crop up. It makes sense to differentiate between disagreements that are trivial and non-consequential and let them pass. When you disagree with your partner on significant issues, either come to an agreement acceptable to both or agree to disagree amicably without holding it against your partner. If you don’t agree to disagree, you set yourself up for a lot of anger, resentment and bitterness which irreparably spoils the relationship.
7.Not addressing and acknowledging the differences in core values.
More often than not, relationships happen between people from different backgrounds, brought up with different values. Some of the main areas that need to be considered are religion, family, money and career etc. Major differences regarding any of these need to be timely addressed.
8.Neglecting romance and the sweet nothings
The importance of romance and sweet nothings lie in how good they make you feel. These small things go a long way in smoothing ruffled feathers and bringing the partners close together. It helps in focusing on how good you make each other feel and helps in leaving behind any bitterness or differences.
9.Money matters
Though it may seem inappropriate at the outset, to talk and discuss monetary issues, it is imperative to a happy and stress-free relationship. It is always a good idea to be clear on how much and how the money would be pooled in and the way it would be dispensed for various expenses. Doing that would set your expectations right and rule out and nasty surprises.
10.Expecting your significant other to be perfect.
It is easy to forget along the way that your partner is a human being with flaws and so are you. No human being is perfect and the sooner you come to terms with it, the better it is. The success of a happy relationship stems from accepting these flaws as an integral part of your partner rather than highlighting them and holding them against each other.
These are some of the most common points to pay attention to. There is no such thing as a guarantee to a happy relationship, but there are sure ways to improve the relationship and become better human beings in the process. A happy relationship is all about acceptance and tolerance. The sooner you accept yourself and your partner, the way you are, the more tolerant you would be. Being in a relationship helps you grow and while striving for a happy relationship, you grow the right way. Hope this helps you have a happy relationship.
