Choosing a life partner is not about just embracing the individual but has a larger than life perspective ascribed to it. Today women are more clear and self-determined in making this vital choice. However, a few of them are intimidated about making this choice alone and tend to get influenced by other people’s opinions.
Every one likes to be loved by someone. But when it comes to reciprocation and taking that love to the next level of life, there comes the fear factor that impedes them from moving forward. It is human to be Skeptical in nature but with due clarity of our wants and desires, we can certainly cultivate the confidence within us to make the right choice.
So now, what would be your reaction when approached by someone, rather an acquaintance of yours who wants to take your relationship to the next level? What are the things that you should really give a deep consideration before moving the coin from mere friendship to that someone in your life who is going to be with you for the rest of your life? As often quoted – Appearances are often deceptive, so an in-depth exploration of the lifestyle, character, family, faith, culture and a lot more has to be focused upon. Just as a coin is bi-sided, a person will definitely have a portion of life that remains disclosed to you and the best part is that, that unknown portion is what you are going to be gifted with after your wedding. If that turns out to be good, then you are truly gifted but what if it turns out to be the other way?
It is always better to spend quality time understanding your would-be life partner before you say those precious 2 words – “I DO”.
1.Character:
Character is just not what we see from the outside at office or at other public places. It is what a person is made up of from within. It needs real wisdom to judge a person’s true character. Even if you do not achieve 100%, most of the features can be analyzed by watching his actions and behaviors with minute details. The way he treats others, respects others, his tolerance level, honesty, generosity, intelligence, etc. can be adjudged by persistently following –up his actions.
2.Language & Habits:
The colloquial language a person uses, I mean the way the person uses a language defines a lot about the person. Also the habitual facts of a person, say if he happens to be a teetotaller, his eating habits i.e., if he is a vegetarian, non-vegetarian or a vegan. All this counts a lot, coz you are going to deal with it almost every day.
3.Family Background:
By accepting a person into your life, you just do not accept him but his entire family. So marriage is just not two people coming together, but two families entering into an everlasting bond. For a relationship to be strong, these knots have to be tightly roped up. Although many of them prefer setting up a nuclear family, in lieu of their work, the bondage as a family can never be ignored. So it is important that we have common interests or at least have a comfort zone with them.
4.Cultures & Tradition:
These are two intricate things that have to be dealt with great care. It is quite common nowadays for people from different cultures to develop a liking for each other. It is here that more aspects have to be clarified. What is your stand with respect to culture and traditional values? Do you desire to be in a more traditional family structure or do you require a more modern and broad-minded family. All these things are to play a major role post-marriage. Choose your partner accordingly.
5.Faith & Beliefs:
Like Culture and Tradition, Faith & Belief is one more sensitive feature that has to be dealt with. When people are from different faiths & beliefs, extra care has to be taken in understanding a person as to what is his level of acceptance of the other person’s faiths & beliefs. What is the level of importance that he gives to his religion and what respect he has towards the other religions? Will he be able to accept you as you are without any change? Or will you be able to change and adjust yourself to accommodate according to his preferences? Self-evaluation is very necessary to take appropriate decisions.
6.Life Style:
What is the standard of life that you expect to live and what is the standard of life that is going to be presented to you after embracing this person in your life? If at all there is a difference, do you have the receptivity to accept that whole-heartedly? Are you going to be in a nuclear family setup or a joint family? Because life isn’t about you and your partner in a dreamland, it is about living real life forever.
7.Building up a family:
Family in this context is one, which you intend to build up with your partner. To be more precise, make yourself clear and also get it clarified with your would-be life partner about the “JUST 2 OF US” time you are going to enjoy after marriage and the proposed time to have a kid. All these would possibly reduce a lot of misunderstandings in the future.
It is common to hear people saying “Opposites Attract” but to hold on for a life time and to live a life to the fullest, a couple has to have many common interests and beliefs too. Also the fine-tuning part that happens to both men and women after marriage has to be slowly accepted, which then becomes a natural habit.
Everysingle thing cannot be pre-judged and crafted the way you want it to be. But prior discussions about vital things that will have a drastic impact on your life after marriage has to be done in an in-depth manner, so as to avoid confusions and unwanted quarrels in post-marriage.
